THE EXPONENT: Volume 97, Number 1

News and Commentary for Triangle Leaders Brought to you by the Fraternity Strengthening Committee of National Council

TRIANGLE FRATERNITY

Is Serious about Scholarship

Sets and Demonstrates High Standards

Celebrates Achievement

• Brotherhood
  • See You In The Movies
  • Can We Talk?
• Chapter Management
  • So, What Are Your Benefits Like?
  • Bite The Bullet
  • Notice How This Has Three Parts!
  • Recruitment Lessons Learned From The Road
• Spotlight on Triangle Chapters
• Spotlight on Triangle
• Spotlight on Prominent Triangles
  • Meet Your National Volunteers: Randy Kerns mom71

See You In The Movies

Tim Eiler minn87

My lists of good and bad don't tell the whole picture of either side, but at least you can begin to get a better picture of the situation your fraternity is facing.

In the 1950's there was a "B" grade science fiction movie titled "Mars Needs Women." We could make movie about our fraternity and call it "Triangle Needs Men." The main differences between the old movie and the new one about Triangle would be:

• Our army would be an all-volunteer one
• Our army would wield phones, pens, email, computers, and checkbooks instead of ray guns and spaceships
• Our army would invade all of Earth to add quality to the lives of its people rather than kidnapping them.

Unfortunately, most of our Brothers forget about Triangle for the largest part. Surely they have been influenced heavily by the precepts that Brotherhood in Triangle reinforced in them and this causes them to live lives that any Triangle Brother would be proud of. They don't continue to participate in the two main reasons to join Triangle, however: Development of self and development of lifetime friendships. They also forget about their responsibility to "Help create in my chapter home an environment in which enduring friendships may be formed" and to "Accept cheerfully my full share of any task, however menial involved in maintaining a chapter home." Those are lines from our Code of Ethics and I believe they apply equally to our National Chapter just as well as they do to the individual campus chapters. Won't you join me and the other volunteers, locally and nationally in helping to make Triangle what it has the capability to be - THE winner, THE best fraternity in existence? We're getting there now, but it would be a lot easier and faster with your help. If you'd like to find out more about how you can help, visit Triangle's homepage, contact the National Headquarters Staff, or contact the National President.

Can We Talk?

excerpt paraphrased from Entrepreneur Magazine
(by P. Estess, July 1996)

1. When you and a Brother have tension, do you communicate your feelings directly to one another?
2. When you have a fraternity business discussion with your Brothers, do you spend more time presenting you own viewpoint than listening to others?
3. Are there some Brothers whose overpowering manner intimidates others?
4. Do you or or other Brothers have difficulty disagreeing with each other?
5. When talking to another Brother about a fraternity business issue, do you sometimes feel there's more to the discussion than the issue at hand?
6. Are there "undiscussable" topics you and your Brothers never talk about because they stir up unpleasant memories or are too "hot" to handle (such as a substance abuse problem, etc.)?
7. When someone does something well, do you and the Brothers make it a point to compliment each other?
8. Do you and your Brothers laugh together often?

Even if you are seemingly the only one who is willing to take the time to improve communication, you can still benefit both you and the group. A single good communicator can act as a role model for others. Because a few simple changes in how you communicate can make a tremendous difference to the entire group, it's worth making the effort.

1. Paraphrase the speaker. Most people aren't skilled listeners, so the may hear what is said, but not understand it. That can lead to conflict, especially among people who are close because they think they can read each other's minds. One way to enhance listening is to get in the habit of paraphrasing. After the speaker finishes a thought, Lane suggests using one of the following phrases to check your understanding: "So what you are saying is..." "In other words..." or " Let me check my understanding of what you're saying...." If you don't capture the essence of what the person said , repeat the whole process until you get it.
2. Talk face to face. Directly communicating your feeling isn't always easy. When Bob talks to Steve about George or Ed talks to another Brother about Jeff, the information gets distorted (as in the childhood game of telephone), however. Because you are dealing indirectly with problems, they rarely get solved. Direct confrontation later ("I hear you have a complaint against me.") is better than nothing at all, but by then it's usually too late; there are already hurt feelings. Confronting each other is hard, but it's the only way to meaningful communication and straightforward doesn't have to mean brutal. As long as the basic rules of a healthy discussion are observed - respecting each other, maintaining self-control so you don't say things you don't mean, and avoiding personal attacks - confrontation can lead to constructive problem-solving, says Mary Whiteside, a psychologist and consultant.
3. Make statements, not accusations. When you face off with someone you're in conflict with, often the first word uttered is "You..." followed by accusations. Lane suggests using a three-step technique to bypass accusations: start by describing what the other is doing ("The last three times you were supposed to clean the bathroom, you started whining in front of the Pledges."), how it makes you feel ("I feel like the fraternity isn't worth as much and I know the Pledges do also."), and what you prefer instead ("One thing that might work is for you to do the job and if you must vent your frustration, take it out by also cleaning the kitchen or at least talking it over in private with another active.").

Product

So, What Are Your Benefits Like?

Mike Stafford ucla63

My experience is that any active chapter is one or two graduating classes away from instability. Even the best of documentation will not pass to the next generation if they fail to open the notebook! Nonfunctioning Faculty and/or Alumni Advisors constitute a double whammy.

Some suggested changes such as adopting a Greek name or modifying member development policies (That don't appear to be well understood anyway) without due process amount to "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic" compared to dealing effectively with the above problems.

The declining success of Rush Programs (particularly at UCLA) does indicate that we need to distance ourselves from the perception the media gives of "traditional fraternities" (ie Animal House) and include in our Rush (Recruitment literature) information on the Pledge/Apprentice Member Training Program.

Consider the following items that sell people and serve to keep them sold in a Market Driven Society (My thanks to whoever posted this):

No one buys a PRODUCT, what they buy is BENEFITS. The following is from "How to Increase Sales and Put Yourself Across by Telephone" by Mona Ling. This list gives the reasons a person will purchase a product.

TWENTY-FIVE BUYING REASONS (comments added)

1. To make money (Are Alumni networking opportunities, scholarship awards, or loans available?)
2. To save money (Is Housing less expensive - does it save commuting costs?)
3. To save time (Tutoring help - course files available)
4. To avoid effort (Group study opportunities)
5. To gain comfort (An organization to identify with and come back to as an alumnus)
6. To achieve cleanliness (Shared Housekeeping duties)
7. To improve health (Better self-immage)
8. To be popular (Opportunity for friends and leadership)
9. To escape pain (Mutual crisis support)
10. To attract the opposite sex (social events and parties)
11. To gain praise (Participate in charitable work)
12. To conserve possessions (Any ideas?)
13. To increase enjoyment (friendship, brotherhood, organized activities, and on and on).
14. To gratify curiosity (What am I missing?)
15. To protect family (They will know you are in good hands)
16. To be in style or like the rest (Meet us and you'll like what you see)
17. To satisfy appetite (Depends on your Board Policy)
18. To emulate others (We all need role models and mentors)
19. To have beautiful or unusual things (The Badge of course)
20. To avoid criticism (Study alone does not make the man)
21. To take advantage of opportunities (A chance to be a part of a going concern.
22. To be individual or unique (Personal growth opportunities)
23. To avoid trouble or additional work (No student can be an island)
24. To protect reputation (A remedy for Nerdism)
25. To have safety (Live near campus)

I feel that actives need to be familiar with applying the above techniques to Rush and keeping the Chapter motivated. Wondrous as Brotherhood is, it must be learned and nurtured - but first you have to get and keep the candidates.

There are a lot of deplorable practices such as harassment and hazing than have no place in our membership training programs. I truly believe each active should read (or watch the video) "Lord of the Flies" and write an essay on it. Sure, I exaggerate the problem, but the effect of this problem is still devastating to everything we want to be.

Bite The Bullet

Christian Scott ps94

Secondly, I'm glad my chapter isn't a bunch of uncouth drunks, constantly drifting between cycles of hangover and inebriation. If we did, I would not be pleased.

We Are A Social Organization of Technical Men
We are not IEEE, ASME, or anything else. You can join those and leave those as you please. We're for life, and that fact scares some rushees away. "Um, I thought you guys were like the math club er something." Surprise! Some rushees wanted a fraternity and were scared by a technical bond. " You guys are geeks er something.

Last Time I Checked, We Were A Group Of Close Friends
Yes, the technical aspects are beneficial, but it's a common bond that you will find throughout the Greek community. We're not building bulldozers and phone taps in the basement.

BROTHERHOOD

is not limited to the definitions in the Ritual and the Code of Ethics. I've read them, said them, and live by them, but it's not the letter of the law that makes Brotherhood, it's the spirit. Some of the best times Brotherhood is shown is when a bunch of gentlemen pool their resources to do something great. For example, kicking butt during Homecoming, or fixing up the house. Brotherhood is also best demonstrated when everyone is having fun. For example, playing mud football, having a song practice, or a good water balloon war.

I've noticed that my chapter has more HAPPINESS when we party a good bit, and study a good bit as well. The more we act like FRIENDS and less like PARLIAMENT, the more smoothly things run.

In conclusion, study hard, party too, and use your specific talents to help each other out. Keep your picayune grievances to yourself. Bite the bullet and make it work.

Leadership

Notice How This Has Three Parts!

Source unknown

1. A better look at potential brothers
2. The development of attitude
3. The maintenance of an academic atmosphere.

Most colleges operate on the principle that every man admitted has the potential to graduate. This same obligation is incumbent upon the fraternity chapter - know that a man associated with the fraternity is one who will eventually be initiated. The potential member who lacks ability and motivation will not make it grade wise and will certainly not become a participating member.

Attitude
No matter how good the 'program' is, it will become a total failure if the members and associate members do't have a positive attitude toward the goals and objectives of the program. Factors which may contribute to and effect an individual's attitude toward academic achievement include . . .

1. personal pride in achievement
2. hope for future employment and advancement
3. group recognition and approval
4. sense of duty or obligation
5. desire for respect and approval
6. expectation of reward
7. fear of punishment or penalty

Atmosphere
A sound academic program would include maintenance of an atmosphere that is conducive to good study habits. To improve chapter conditions utilize . . .

1. Quiet hours which are enforced.
2. Study tables which are organized, lit and ventilated well.
3. Test files to determine the style of the exam or the type of question likely to be asked.

Recruitment Lessons Learned From The Road

David Stollman, NIC Recruitment Consultant

excerpt from NIC Campus Commentary (April 1996)

Sometimes the leaders try to "fix" recruitment problems at a system level. As many have learned, the only way that recruitment can improve is at the chapter level. Recruitment is an individual process. People join people, not a Greek system. Policies and procedures will not get more men to join fraternities.

It all comes down to the difference between "Rush" and "Recruitment." Rush is a period of time. It is a period of time which is decided upon by the IFC or some central authority. Many do not like Rush because it can be so fake and superficial.

Recruitment is a process, a process between people. Recruitment is not fake or superficial when done the right way. It is fun. We have all heard about the five steps of recruitment: Meet him, Make him a friend, Introduce him to your friends, Introduce him to the fraternity, Ask him to join. These steps should extend far beyond the period of time we typically call Rush.

The key to recruitment is going from steps two to three. Many of our Brothers are friends with men who are not members. We all know how to make friends. What we do not do well is get these friends to be friends with our Brothers. We do not introduce them to our friends. When this happens, recruitment is just hanging out with a bunch of friends, some in the fraternity and some soon to be joining. Although it sounds (and is) less formal than Rush as we know it, it does not happen by accident. Chapters must prepare and plan in order to be successful in their recruitment efforts.

This recruitment process does not include an IFC's mandatory sign-ups or tours. Formal Rush is merely a time for those that already know that they want to join a fraternity to choose. That quantity of men, "Always Joiners," is shrinking consistently. the group that we need to target is the growing population of "Maybe Joiners." These people are not interested in participating in a formal IFC Rush process.

Five things I have found to improve recruitment are:

1. Educate Fraternity Members: Teach the Right Way to Rush philosophy and methods, give workshops on communication and recruitment skills.
2. Create Opportunities for Brothers to Meet Non-Brothers: Get involved with a fraternity forum at your campus (if there isn't one, get IFC to start one), Participate in new student orientation, Give a welcome bbq for new students, Help with new student move-in.
3. Maintain Basic Rules: Dry recruitment! When you sell yourself on alcohol, you'll only attract members who are interested in little but alcohol, Use decorum at all events, activities, and in publicity, Get IFC to increase the allowable bidding times to the entire semester and to remove as many restrictions on new members as possible.
4. Promote: Get IFC to promote fraternities to augment chapters' Right Way to Rush methods.
5. Facilitate and Evaluation of Recruitment Efforts: Get help from IFC about how to evaluate your chapter's efforts, Try to find out information about how non-affiliated students feel about the Greek system , your chapter, recruitment efforts, and reasons why they haven't yet joined.

Just Your Basic Brotherhood...

Brian Wilson lou95

Just as an update, every livable room in the Lou chapter house is now filled. I cannot take credit for this: it's mostly due to better circumstances among actives being able to move in, coupled with renewed efforts of our alumni board to work w/ actives on having in-house members. I can REALLY see the difference at the chapter house now, with brothers living there in each other's company.

I recently joined some in-house brothers in a water-gun fight at 3 in the morning. No meetings, no business, no official get-together, just a silly bunch of brothers all at the same place at the same time with a working faucet and some Super-Soakers and an idea. Running around in the middle of the night spraying each other, everyone ganging up on someone else, arguing over whether it was legal to shoot from the roof. Then sitting around in our drenched attire, talking about and laughing at it all.

Brotherhood can be this simple. Many members may think that brotherhood has to be a complex embodiment of Ritual and it's teachings, or has to be enforced with a Constitution and By-Laws, or that the governing organization of the chapter should delegate and administrate the essence of brotherhood. In the end, I've discovered that one can know every line of Ritual, every rule of the fraternity, every official position in Triangle, but it can mean nothing unless one has the potential to demonstrate brotherhood from the beginning. We recognize this potential in prospective members and that's why we pledge them, not because we think they'll follow rules or remember what is taught to them. We like being around them and they like hanging around us. That's the basic start to what brotherhood is about. Maturing brotherhood is living with one another, cooperation, helping your fellow man when he's down, taking responsibility when a mistake is made, and learning from one another in the process.

These concepts are explained to a degree in our documents, but you won't find water-fights in the Constitution or a night of bowling in the Ritual or a cookout in our Code of Ethics. These are memories that YOU have to make for yourself. Honestly, what do you want to remember about Triangle? That it was an organization with meetings and rules and events that people went to? Or do you want to remember that night when your brothers pummeled you with their water-guns, when one of you brothers bowled a strike when he released the ball from behind and between his legs, or the time the grill got so hot it melted the concrete it was sitting on and left a cool impression? I will remember these things, and many others, when I look back at my years as a Triangle. Living together increases the odds of stuff like this occuring, and there are many other ways to keep the memories coming in.

My bottom line: It is important to have rules and regulations to run an organization, but brotherhood within an organization is not made by rules. It is made by it's members and what they do, how they work together and how they don't, the bear-hugs, the arguments, the official events or the days you bum around and do nothing. Though our governing documents may tell our members to practice brotherhood, like a teacher teaching a student, it is one thing to have something taught to you and another to actually LEARN it. It takes an effort on your part to be a brother and to take part in these "memories" which make up your Triangle experiences. If you don't have many memories about your times in Triangle, are you really receiving the full brotherhood experience?

Here's hoping that each of my brothers in Triangle have memories to hold onto.

Programs

Triangle is setting a better direction for development of our members, from pledges through alumni, by beginning to develop a full-up member development program. Right now, the program has the working title 180 Degrees, for the fact that we will help to develop the full man and there are 180 degrees in a Triangle. If you'd like to be a part of the committee, please contact Al Evon ar88 or Don Hatfield msu88 for instructions. We really would value the participation of members who have training credentials, who have the wisdom of greater years, and who hail from more chapters than those we have currently represented. The committee has already begun its work, so get in touch with us soon!

Summit Program information is available from the National Headquarters Office Staff upon request. The point of the Summit Program is to help you improve your chapter and the best way to do that is to start early once you have made the choice to do so. Don't make the program simply an exercise in documentation. Use it now as a chance to make your Triangle Experience and that of your Brothers better. Alumni are needed to participate, too, so don't take this as something directed solely at the active chapters!

UIFI is coming up this summer and other Greek leadership and training sessions will happen before then. Information, including information about Triangle-supplied sponsorships, is available from that National Headquarters Office Staff. Don't wait to get on the clue bus! The more you learn, the better your personal development will be and the better your chapter can become. The more others see the great leaders Triangle produces, the more likely it is that they'll recognize Triangle as the one to watch.

Confused about where your chapter landed in Chapter Performance ranking last year? Contact the National Headquarters for more information and/or clarification.

People

Recently, Bob Sharp pur51 resigned from the National Council Presidency due to his concern that a health problem would not allow him to fulfill the duties of that office with the same vigor and ability he felt necessary. That caused some changes to occur on the National Council. First, Tim Eiler minn87 became the new President on 12/1/1996. Second, Jeff Scott wis87 became the new Vice President. Finally, Bret Feger lou86, who had been appointed by last year's Nominating Committee as the first alternate for National Council should such an event as this occur, became your newest Councilman. Bob Sharp will be staying on as the Immediate Past President for the remainder of the term. This National Council is poised to bring forth some improvements that will help to usher in the Renaissance of Triangle. If you have any questions, you may contact any of those people listed or the National Headquarters.

Reminders
Regional Workshop information will be coming to you soon if you are at an active chapter or serve on the alumni board of a chapter. Just because you don't fit one of those descriptions, however, does not imply that you are hindered from attending a Workshop. Triangle is relevant to all Brothers and you'll find the program both useful and interesting. At the same time, you'll rekindle old friendships and be able to develop new ones. If you are interested in participating in or helping facilitate one of these Workshops near you, please contact the National Headquarters as soon as possible. We'll be putting the Workshop information in an upcoming issue of the EXPONENT, so you'll see it there, too. Finally, don't forget to look at Triangle's site on the World Wide Web. Like we said in the Welcome to this newsletter, only you can make the change.

UIFI and Other Regional Leadership Sessions
While Triangle can and does give several opportunities annually for guided leadership development, we also recommend that members avail themselves of other opportunities provided by other organizations, as well. Information about many of those sessions is included immediately below. If you have any questions, contact the National Headquarters.

UIFI is a one week intense leadership conference specifically designed for greeks. There are 8 sessions offered throughout the summer from May - the 1st week of August. TFEF sponsors scholarships for this program. The National Headquarters has already sent scholarship applications to the chapters, but will follow up with more mailings January-March.

Regional conferences:
Southern Greek Leadership Conference (Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas region) - conference theme: Letters of today, Leaders of Tomorrow February 7-8, 1997. Registration costs - $80 per person. Site of conference - Dallas Grand Hotel.

Northeast Interfraternity Conference, conference theme: Navigating our way to Effective Leadership - Building a Steel Community February 27 - March 2, 1997. Registration costs - $110 per person. Site of conference - Westin William Penn Hotel, Pittsburgh, PA.

Midwest Greek Council Association, conference theme - Continuing the Tradition of Excellence February 20-23, 1997. Registration costs - $TBD (probably $100 per person). Site of Conference - Hyatt Regency O'Hare, Chicago (Rosemont), IL.

South Eastern Interfraternity Conference - Atlanta, Georgia, February 13-15, 1997

Western Greek Regional Conference - San Francisco, CA, April 3-6, 1997

NIC Academic Achievement Forum - Chicago, IL, April 5, 1997

Interfraternity Institute (the volunteer/staff version of UIFI) July 20-25, 1995.

TFEF has budgeted funds for our members to attend these regional conferences. Those interested need to contact the national office for more details about those and about the meetings in general.

Meet Your National Volunteers: Randy Kerns mom71

EXP: Tell us about yourself.

Br. Kerns: I'm currently a Director of Engineering with StorageTek in Louisville, CO in the disk subsystems area. I'm married with two daughters and live in Boulder. I've been in Boulder since 1974 when IBM moved me here. I graduated from University of Missouri-Rolla with a BS in computer science and graduated with an MS in Computer Engineering from the University of Colorado. I served six years on the alumni board of directors for the University of Missouri-Rolla where I chaired the program committee (special money making projects and awards to outstanding professors) and served on the Annual Fund committee. Locally, I started the Colorado Section of the MSM-UMR Alumni Association and am currently serving as the treasurer.

EXP: How have you been involved with Triangle over the years?

Br. Kerns: Since I pledged Triangle in 1970, I've been continuously involved in one way or another. As an undergraduate, I held several offices and attended regionals and National conventions (they were yearly back then). After graduation I became a regional director with the urging of Herb Scobie and Bill Krack. I helped start the CSU alumni organization and worked with the active chapter closely for a long period of time. I served several terms as the CSU alumni president and as the treasurer. I served on National Council for a number of years was was elected National President for two different terms. I was elected to Triangle Fraternity Education Foundation after being off Council for a few years and was the chairman of the Fund Raising committee. Eventually I was elected vice-president and now president of TFEF following the long, dedicated service of Bob Rosenberg.

EXP: What do you see Triangle doing Nationally in the future?

Br. Kerns: I see Triangle setting itself apart from other fraternities with a focus on scholarship and member development that are major drawing (and selling) points. Getting the membership to embrace this and set the practices in place to achieve these aims is the challenge to the current National volunteers. TFEF has two major efforts underway to support these programs: establish a consistent fund raising campaign that will provide sustaining subsidies for the educational aspects of the Fraternity, and to seek out those alumni who can provide a major gift or endowment to allow us to award more scholarships and loans through on-going programs. Triangle, I think, will have to establish its value on campuses in the areas that have been stated with the vision for Triangle. The social aspects and lifelong friendships created will continue but the measure of the fraternity will be on what it adds to the individuals who are members.

TRIANGLE FRATERNITY

Is Serious about Scholarship

Sets and Demonstrates High Standards

Celebrates Achievement