Triangle - 2001 October

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2001 October

THE EXPONENT: Volume 01, Number 7

"Many people don't realize that playing dead can help not only with bears who are trying to tear off your head, legs, and arms to feed to their cubs, but also at chapter meetings and professional business meetings." - Jack Handy

Well, that's not really the welcome and you knew it. Read on...

"Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has power, magic and genius in it."- Goethe

Last month, this welcome was devoted to Triangle as the quintessential Fraternity. This month, I hope to continue that thought. So here goes:

Think for a minute about buying something from a friend. You already probably have a relationship; trust already "in the bank"; with that person. You know something about how that person thinks and recognize that this person has at least, if not your best interests in mind, some of your interests in mind - it's not likely that he's out to screw you on your purchase.

Now think for a minute back to the time when you went out to "buy" Triangle. You were effectively buying a pig in a poke - unless you had a lot of friends already in place in the chapter, which is pretty unlikely, that is. If, however, you'd known even one of the members, you would probably at least assume, again because of the relationship you had with that person, that "it must be okay or he wouldn't be here." Once more, there's a level of trust there.

So, I hope it makes sense that your chapter will follow the 5-step recruitment process: Meet him, make him your friend, introduce him to your friends, introduce him to Triangle, ask him to join. The more friends he has in Triangle prior to joining, the more comfortable he'll feel with the chapter. The more comfortable he feels, the more likely he is to join you.

One more recruitment thought: The quality of the men you recruit and the quality of the men you recruit are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the quantity you recruit is dependent on the quality. Recruit quality men and you'll find you actually get more members. A chapter full of quality members is a chapter headed for success.

By the way, if you don't know who Goethe is, go read something! ;-)

Contents

Brother, we have a problem...: Tim Eiler minn87

Conflict is inevitable. You'll find it in families, chapters, companies, governments, even churches. Dealing with it in the right way is what matters. Sure, there are times when just "letting sleeping dogs lie" is the appropriate approach. All too often, though, the dogs aren't sleeping anymore. When that happens, you've got to deal with it.

I don't know about you, but I'm a bit uncomfortable confronting people. To start with, I usually cannot understand why the "offender" has no clue about how to behave. Then there's the ever-present fear that the other person won't like me any more. What I've found is that there are some tips out there in the wide world for bringing the offender back into the fold. This is one book I've read that talked me through some of the basic knowledge I needed to be able to handle the negotiation.

"Influence" is a psychology classic. Published in 1984 by Quill, this book by Robert B Cialdini PhD explains the "tools of automatic influence" that can be applied in any field, including, of course, business. Cialdini explains not only how to use these weapons but also how to resist them.

The Six Tools of Influence

Reciprocity: The first tool of influence is reciprocity. The rule of reciprocity says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person provided us. If someone does us a favor, we are obliged to do one in return. Politicians call this putting favors in the favor bank. Put one in, and when the time comes, you can get one out. And the rule of reciprocity applies in all cultures. There is no human society that does not subscribe to the rule, the author writes. In fact, it is only because our ancestors learned to share food and skills in an honored network of obligation that we are human, says anthropologist Richard Leakey. Studies show that reciprocity overpowers dislike. If someone "owes" you a favor, it makes no difference if he likes you or not; he feels an obligation to repay you, and he does. A business example of reciprocity is free samples. There's a reason you can eat a small meal while walking the aisles of Sam's Warehouse Club. Free samples sell product. Another way to employ reciprocity is somewhat more indirect. You can make a concession. It is then an "obligation" to return the concession. For instance, if you start a negotiation with a high asking price, then reduce that price, you have made a concession. The party with whom you are negotiating with likely respond with a concession. (However, if the first set of demands is too extreme, your next offer will not be viewed as a concession at all but, rather, a ploy to which no concessionary obligation is felt.) The author tells a marvelous story about reciprocal concessions at work. Watergate mastermind G. Gordon Liddy likely got his $250,000 to conduct the "dirty tricks" of Nixon's campaign because he first asked for $1 million. As Jeb Magruder testified, "If he had come to us at the outset and said, 'I have a plan to burglary and wiretap Larry O'Brien's office,' we might have rejected the idea out of hand. Instead he came to us with his elaborate call-girl/kidnapping/mugging/sabotage/wiretapping scheme... He had asked for the whole loaf when he was quite content to settle for half or even a quarter."
Commitment and Consistency: The second tool of influence is commitment and consistency. We have a "nearly obsessive desire to be (and to appear) consistent with what we have already done." Because of this, we act in ways that justify our earlier decisions. Generally speaking, consistency is a valued trait. But we easily fall into the habit of being automatically consistent, even when it makes no sense. How is the force engaged? Through commitment. "If I can get you to make a commitment (that is, to take a stand, to go on record), I will have set the stage for your automatic and ill-considered consistency with that earlier commitment. Once a stand is taken, there is a natural tendency to behave in ways that are stubbornly consistent with the stand," writes Cialdini. If I can get you to make a small commitment, I am more likely to get you to follow it with a bigger commitment. Cialdini notes, "It appears that commitments are most effective in changing a person's self-image and future behavior when they are active, public and effortful. But even more powerful is a commitment we think we have chosen to make without strong outside pressure -- in other words, when we think we've made our own choice."
Social Proof: Social proof is the third tool of influence. Canned laughter on TV sitcoms is an example of social proof. The principle is this: one means we use to determine what is correct is to find out what other people think is correct. We view a behavior as more correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others doing it. This is even more true when we view the people to be similar to ourselves. As with the other weapons of influence, it generally makes sense to do as others do. Usually, when a lot of people are doing something, it is the right thing to do. But we can be fooled by partial or fake evidence. "Advertisers love to inform us when a product is the 'fastest-growing' or 'largest-selling' because they don't have to convince us directly that the product is good, they need only say many others think so, which seems proof enough," writes Cialdini. To illustrate the concept of social proof, Cialdini cites the infamous New York murder of Catherine Genovese in which 38 "respectable, law-abiding citizens" watched the killer stalk and stab her. What happened? Psychologists believe no one took action because "everyone else observing the event is likely to be looking for social evidence, too. And because we all prefer to appear poised and unflustered among others, we are likely to search for that evidence placidly, with brief camouflaged glances at those around us. Therefore, everyone is likely to see everyone else looking unruffled and failing to act. As a result... the event will be roundly interpreted as a non-emergency." (The author's advice if you find yourself in an emergency: Stare, speak and point directly to one person and no one else, and give specific directions.)
Liking: The fourth tool of influence is liking. We prefer to say yes to someone we know and like. And whom do we like? People who are physically attractive, people who are similar to us, people who give us compliments, people who are familiar to us and with whom we cooperate (as in team-building exercises), people with whom the associations are positive (People become fonder of the people and things they experienced while they were eating, for instance.). We have a deep, intuitive understanding of the power of positive associations, and most of us use it to our own benefit. Notice how when the home team wins, the chant is "We won. We're number one." But when the home team loses, the refrain is "They lost." Or, "I don't know what the score was, but Arizona State lost."
Authority: The fifth tool of influence is authority. This is a deep-seated sense of duty to authority within us all. And we are often as vulnerable to the symbols of authority as to the substance. Titles, clothes and trappings are all such symbols.
Scarcity: The final tool of influence is scarcity. Opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited. Acting on automatic pilot, we know that things that are difficult to possess are typically better than those that are easy to possess. And as opportunities become less available, we lose freedoms, "and we hate to lose freedoms we already have." Newly experienced scarcity is more powerful than a scarcity that has always existed. We want more what we once had. Furthermore, we want most what we are in competition for. If a thing is scarce because others have it, we really want it. The six weapons of influence -- reciprocity, commitment and consistency, social proof, liking, authority and scarcity -- explain how and why people agree to things. Think about them the next time you do a business deal.

Memory, Like the Shadows of a Recruit's Mind...: BusinessThinkersTrendsDigest, June 18, 2001

These new operating principles from Richard Chase and Sriram Dasu can help you improve how your customers feel about your company. Writing in Harvard Business Review (06.01), Chase and Dasu say their principles are derived from behavioral science and apply similarly to service businesses as diverse as management consulting and cruise ships. Here they are:

Finish Strong - People are more likely to remember what happens at the end of an experience than the beginning.
Get the Bad Experiences Out of the Way Early - Eliminate the dread so people can savor the desirable events.
Segment the Pleasure, Combine the Pain - Experiences seem longer when they are broken into segments, so combined undesirable experiences seem shorter.
Build Commitment through Choice - People are happier when they feel they have some control over the process.

Changing the Chapter Recruitment Culture: excerpt from NIC Campus Commentary (Nov. 92)

Chapter Recruitment events can quickly become trite and superficial, leaving members less than excited to participate. The essence and dynamic nature of fraternity is lost.

Recruitment should happen 365 days a year. Every time a Greek spends time with a non-affiliated student, Recruiting CAN OCCUR. Not the "cram it down their throat" approach, but a subtle strategy which promotes relationship-building and encourages continued interaction which ultimately will lead to increased interest in fraternity membership.

Basically, both the members and Recruits are looking for something more than making small talk around a table of refreshments. Here are simple ways to add variety to a chapter Recruitment program and generate quality conversation among members and Recruits. A lot of the reason these are simple is because they start with what your chapter culture is like overall. The more you're having fun and getting something good out of your Triangle membership, the easier you'll find the job of generating interest in others.

SIZE: Some of the best Recruitment events are informal and intimate - a handful of members and Recruits enjoying each other's company and participating in an activity which all personally value. Too many people can quickly make a quality Recruitment event overcrowded and impersonal. The best Recruitment is done one-on-one.

PICK UP SPORTS: We've all seen the immediate attraction and migration to a pick-up football or basketball game (or any number of other sporting activities). The sporting activity is a natural way for people sharing a common interest to come together, oftentimes with people they do not know well.

Many students in residence halls, especially early in the academic year, would jump at the chance to play recreational sports. A group of chapter members (the whole chapter is not needed) can form the nucleus for a great afternoon of pick up sports. Remember to have members divide among the teams to promote additional interaction.

This type of event works because it is natural, simple, easy to set up, and free in cost to both chapter and prospective members. People who participate in a sporting activity have immediate bonding, which can become the basis of fraternity friendship and affiliation.

COMMUNITY SERVICE EVENTS: As many as 50% of college students have indicated that "helping others" is of value to them. With this in mind, a chapter service event can easily double as a Recruitment event.

To maximize interest, the chapter should approach (two to three weeks in advance of the proposed activity) a residence hall floor or student organization whose membership base may be ideal candidates for a fraternity. The event should be billed as a service event with a fraternity rather than as a service and Recruitment event. Service is the primary purpose and in the process, relationships may be formed which will lead to affiliation.

Together, the two groups should mutually decide on a service activity. The chapter may suggest several possibilities. A hands-on and interactive service project will produce significant opportunities to meet, converse, discuss, challenge, support, and bond. Members and prospective members should be equally divided among work teams.

Ideal service activities or locations may include: river or water clean up, soup kitchen, elementary school field day, Boy's and Girl's clubs, senior citizen center, painting homes of elderly or low-income, residential home for disabled.

STUDY BREAKS: The study break approach to Recruitment can pay dividends. All college students study, so why not hold Recruitment events which are scheduled around studying. A 45-60 minute activity is suggested with a location near the library or other study area. Simple refreshments or activities will allow members and prospective members alike to refresh before returning to the books. Members should be encouraged to bring students from their classes or work groups. The keys to this Recruiting concept are simplicity and convenience.

MEMBERSHIP EDUCATION: Chapters are consistently looking for positive ways in which new members can show loyalty to the organization and increase personal commitment. Requiring new members to play a major role in recruitment is an ideal arrangement.

Not only do new members know more prospective Recruits who are freshmen and sophomores than do upperclassmen, but they can immediately convey the positive elements of membership to their peers.

Imagine the impact if every new member simply recruited one or two people during the first term of membership. Responsibility is placed on the individual, and recruitment is made a priority from the initial days of affiliation.

PRIVATE EVENTS: Think of these as "fishbowl" events. Get members together to do things where the group can relax and have fun together. Events like a bowling outing, frisbee somewhere on campus, a dinner out would work great for this. The idea is to kill two birds with one stone: have a great time together and let potential non-members get to see "inside" fraternity. The intent is to show those potential new members that fraternity can be a good time (without all the negative stereotypes). Additional ideas in this vein are to post conspicuous congratulations to anyone who does well academically. Once again, you'll be showing some of the best qualities of Triangle at the same time you'll be celebrating achievement.

REMEMBER: Recruitment is social in nature, but Recruitment is NOT a social event. Don't DO RECRUITMENT, DO FRATERNITY. Show others that being a Triangle is a good thing; that it's clean fun, personal support, and a chance to be a better person. Then invite others to join you.

NIC Recruitment Resources Available to You...All You Gotta Do Is Ask!: Tim Eiler minn87

The following is a short list of Recruitment resources available to you from NIC. Most are designed for use by the local IFC, but could be adapted to use by our chapters also. Unfortunately, there is likely to be a small cost involved with each, so be prepared. To order this type of information, please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , Triangle's Director of Chapter Services.

Successful Recruitment Begins at the Fraternity Forum: This complimentary videotape was designed to assist in implementing the FF model on campus.

Dry Recruitment Programming Ideas: The best Recruitment event ideas from across the country have been gathered and compiled into this easy-to-use booklet. All the information needed to plan the events is included.

Parent's Guide to Fraternities; Friends, Fraternity, Forever...For YOU!: Parents and prospective members totally unfamiliar with fraternity life often need the most education about the role of fraternities on the college campus. These brochures focus on the positive benefits of Greek life, answers to commonly asked questions, and can be used for mass mailing purposes or as handouts at orientation or parents weekend.

Friends, Fraternity, Forever Videotape: Promotes Greek life at orientation, parents weekends, Recruitment events, etc. Through personal testimonials of a variety of fraternity and sorority members, this video sells the benefits of Greek life.

There are others also, so please don't hesitate to ask the HQ about topics rather than titles if you need.

Hope you enjoyed this issue!!! If you have questions, feel free to email the editor ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ).

Tim Eiler
Exponent Editor

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