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THE EXPONENT: Volume 2003, Number 1
Welcome!
"To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws,
to be led by permanent ideals - that is what keeps a man patient when
the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises
him." - Honore De Balzac
Contents
- Welcome
- Tim Eiler minn87, Exponent Editor
Amazingly, this is the 9th year that this incarnation of the
Exponent has been in publication. So let me begin this new year with a
story:
A car transport trailer with ten cars on it pulls up to your house.
The driver gets out and rings your doorbell. Clad only in a housecoat
and slippers, you answer the door.
"I have two Rolls Royces, two Ferraris, a Bentley, a Cadillac, a
Mercedes, a Corvette, a Porsche, and an old Studebaker. All of the cars
are brand new except for the Studebaker," the driver of the transport
trailer says.
"Why are you parked in front of my house?" you ask.
"The cars are for you. You have an anonymous benefactor who has
given you ten cars. There is no charge, no obligation - you don't even
have to say thanks. If you don't want the cars, I can take them back
immediately and tell him to never send you anything again and he
won't," says the driver.
You are both puzzled and excited. Who is this person? Who in the
world would give such valuable gifts without a single string attached?
Looking at the shiny new cars, your excitement grows.
"Will you sign this delivery receipt and this form that gives you
the titles to all of the cars?" the driver asks. "Sure," say you. It
was like winning the lottery.
With the titles freshly in hand you inspect the newfound treasures
more closely. "Wow!" you think examining each car as they gleam and
shine in the bright sunlight. "Magnificent, and I didn't have to pay
one dime for them," you think.
Then you approach the Studebaker. It is old and saw its better days
decades ago (hey, they haven't made them since 1966, what'dya expect).
The paint is rusted. The tires are worn. It doesn't even look like it
will run.
"Why in the world did he give me this?" you wonder. Then you begin
to get angry. "Does he think that I would drive around in a piece of
junk like that? It's ugly compared to the rest of these fine cars. What
was his purpose in giving me that?"
Just then an older neighbor passes by. He stops at the transport
truck and admiringly views the cars, inspecting each one carefully, one
by one, the Rolls, the Ferraris, but only the old Studebaker really
arrests his attention.
"My goodness, I used to have one of these when I was young, learned
to drive in another one, in fact," he recalls with a wishful look in
his eyes. Although he admired the other cars he had no real interest in
them. His eyes were fixed on the Studebaker. "Would you by any chance
consider selling it? I'll pay you whatever you want for it."
Your anger at receiving the old clunker is abated as you begin to
think, "This is too good to be true. Nine new cars and now someone
wants to buy this piece of junk."
That's the end of this story.
Do you understand it?
- Leadership: Don't Focus on You
Possibly the most often overlooked, but extremely powerful,
leadership quality is having an outward focus. Instead of thinking
primarily about your own skills, issues, or what will benefit you,
focus on what is important to your team and customers. Ask yourself -
"What are they thinking? What can I do to help - or is there something
wrong I can help with?" Always keep your focus outward instead of
inward. Since leadership is nearly 100% about helping your customer and
your team get what's needed or getting them to "where" they need or
want to be, they (and you) will be glad you did.
- The UnBrotherly Brother - Part Deux
Review part 1 in the December 2002 issue.
Okay, so what do you do when you've member who's not participating or not pulling his weight?
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You don't have to jump on every instance. Everyone's going to
have a "bad day" now and again -- no one's perfect. When Br. Joe misses
one event, it's probably not the end of the world, unless you know he
did it to deliberately harm the group or for some other
less-than-Brotherly reason. Instead, watch for a trend. If Br. Joe
misses another thing in short order, you probably want to take some
action.
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Instead of taking punitive action against Br. Joe right
off, it's a better idea to talk things over with him in a one-on-one.
This shows him that (a) you've noticed his less-than-wonderful
behavior, (b) you believe he's worth taking the time to help, and (c)
that you expect improvement.
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Help Br. Joe figure out ways to be involved that fit his
situational needs -- it'd be dumb to just assume a one-size-fits-all
solution works in this case. All men who have trouble paying bills
don't have the same reasons; and thus you can't expect the same
solutions to work. All men who are burned out during their senior year
won't be helped by a single solution -- each has different reasons for
pulling back his activity -- AND the needs of the chapter.
-
For financial problems: Ultimately, because there are so
many permutations to this problem, the chapter has to decide how much
risk to take vs the gain for the chapter and the man. For instance, a
man who's consistently had trouble paying his house bills right off,
but has always paid them within a few months, is obviously a better
risk than the guy who never pays any of his house bills and is always
seen spending money on concerts/CDs/electronics/cars/etc. Likewise, the
guy who has trouble paying, but who is heavily involved in doing great
things for the chapter and who pays late, is probably a better risk
than the man who has trouble paying, but pays late.
-
For guys burned out and dropping back: The young man who
burns out from hyper-activity in his early years with the chapter is
probably a worse risk than the man who's in his fifth year in the
chapter and has consistently pulled his weight, though maybe not in a
stellar, above-and-beyond way.
-
Punitive action in this kind of case is still probably
okay, though it obviously should fit the case. You might also choose to
impose some appropriate sanction, but then choose not to actually
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What do you do when you've got a member who's just being a dick -- totally ignoring the rules, etc?
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Well, as before, the best approach is to confront him about
his problem. Unlike before, however, get right on this behavior as or
just after the first time you see it. Even if the guy is acting this
way because he's mad at the world for some reason, it's just not
appropriate -- period -- and he needs to know that right off.
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There's nothing wrong in this case with forcing a little
punitive action. First, you'll want to make sure that the punishment
type, as well as the level, make sense for the problem. It probably
doesn't make sense to punish him by being the door monitor at the party
if he didn't do his house job this past week. Likewise, would it make
sense to punish him with only a $2.00 fine? That seems as though it's
insufficient to change his behavior. It wouldn't make sense to give him
kitchen duty for 30 days if he failed to show for one day of it,
either. The point of punitive action isn't to invoke revenge -- it's to
show this person (and others) that there is a price to be paid for
seriously failing to live up to your membership obligations. Knowing
there is a price to be paid, as long as those enforcing the rules
aren't ludicrous about it, acts as a deterrent to future behavioral
issues like the one in question.
-
He needs to know you're serious about enforcement, too. If
he thinks you're being soft, he's likely to walk all over you. There's
nothing wrong with acting in a loving way; trying to help him with
whatever the problem might be; but there's an old saying that fits very
well here -- "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!"
- Your Coffee Doesn't Hear You
- Tim Eiler minn87
Now that you've heard about things like enforcement and punitive
action and the like, it seems fitting to point out that you'd have to
yell for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, to have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. It takes a lot
less yelling time to "heat up" a person.
Just like it's really not worth it to yell for 8 years, 7 months,
and 6 days to heat up your morning cup of java, it hardly seems worth
it to yell at a person even that one time it can take to heat him up.
Why not try tact instead? Be sensitive as you're able, holding your
temper as best you can. Take the "moral" high ground, if it helps you
to think of it that way. In the end, you'll have fewer "heating
effects."
- Understanding the Story
There are a couple of important meanings to the story.
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The Exponent is a gift to you. It costs you nothing. There will
be some good parts and some parts that you don't like or just don't
care about. All of them are gifts.
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Even though you don't care about some parts, you never know
who might. Share the gift with others and don't be too upset when a
part comes along that you don't like or care about.
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Don't become a victim of the missing teeth syndrome. "What's the missing teeth syndrome?" you ask.
Ask anyone how many teeth they are missing, how many cavities, or root canals they have and they usually can tell you.
Ask someone "how many good teeth do you have?" Usually people don't
know. They have never counted them. It is a natural tendency to magnify
the negative and minimize the positive.
The same things hold true for Triangle itself. Have you considered
playing the part of "anonymous benefactor" for either or both of
Triangle and the Exponent?
We wish you a very happy and successful 2003!
Hope you enjoyed this issue!!! If you have questions, feel free to
email the editor (
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
).
Tim Eiler
Exponent Editor
Relentlessly pursuing excellence!
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