THE EXPONENT: Volume 2003, Number 3

"A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure." - Leo Buscaglia

Welcome:

Last month, I went to see a play at a nearby dinner theater and was struck by another quote (not the one above) from King Arthur (the play was Camelot, of course). He said, as he spoke to his illegitimate son Mordred, "The adage 'blood is thicker than water' was started by undeserving relations."

Two thoughts immediately came to mind as I pondered that quote, trying to mine it for the real meaning of it beyond the obvious meaning from the play's context.

One: In Triangle terms, one often hears the concept of "once a Brother, always a Brother."

Two: No matter what the situation, there will always be what economists call "free riders." (a free rider is someone who gets the output benefit of something without putting anything into the effort to create or maintain the something)

Being the pragmatist I consider myself to be, I just can't let these random thoughts wander around in my head without also spending mental cycles on finding ways to make them useful (or throw them out). So, I spent much of the rest of the play with half my brain focused on these and half focused on the play itself. I guess that must be why I spilled my water glass.

Everyone will, at some point, either intentionally or unintentionally be a free rider with regard to something. It's inevitable. In those cases, when the free riding becomes habitual, we hope we can look to our Brothers -- our Brothers should be, in Buscaglia's words, "good friends," after all -- to point out our mistake. After that, it's up to us to make the appropriate change of either getting out of the particular situation on which we're riding or starting to "pay" our own way in that situation, hopefully up to the point of paying some of the amount we're in arrears for all the time we rode free. Note, too, that free riding can apply to any form of required input expected (effort, guidance, etc) for the output you used, not just money.

If, in the situation of a man being a free rider in something Triangle-related and after being confronted with such a "secret treasure," the man still doesn't get it, forgetting and forgoing his ethical binder (refer to the Ritual and Code of Ethics for a refresher if you need it), and remaining a free rider, how can that man be considered a Brother. Brotherhood is something that one earns when one is a new member (old term is "pledge"), that's true. But, I purport that Brotherhood is something that one MUST EARN EVERY DAY thereafter, as well. Our participation as Brothers, I think, is like having a bank account. The more we put into the account, the more understanding we can hope our Brothers to be when, inevitably, we too become free riders for a while. Thus, I can't hold with the concept of once a Brother, always a Brother. There are too many examples I've seen of men who willingly squander their Brotherhood through inaction or worse, willful abuse of their link to their fellow Triangles.

• What If You Built A Fraternity And No One Came?
• Ten Traits To Be Tops

What If You Built A Fraternity And No One Came?

Tim Eiler minn87, Exponent Editor

In 1907, sixteen men got together as Junior civil engineering students to organize their group into a Fraternity. Nearly 100 years later, the whole organization still exists because the premise -- what it offers to members -- is still important.

Unfortunately, there are chapters that have failed over the years. In fact, there are some that are failing as we speak. So, what is it that makes some chapters perennially successful, while others are successful and not so successful in big cycles and still others fail outright (or don't get any traction at all)?

Some will say that the reason for the failure is external -- the declining and already-weak general attitude toward Greeks that has caused the issue. I will agree that this has an affect on how successful a chapter can be, but since this is a pervasive problem that affects many chapters and many fraternities that still survive and thrive, I won't accept it as the killer cause.

Others might argue that it's lack of support, sometimes even outright antagonism and hostility, from the school that causes the failure. Still others might believe the failure stems from the lack of community support. In both of these cases, I have to argue that many chapters of many fraternities, including Triangle, have succeeded in this harsh environment. Again, this might have been one of the contributing factors, but since this too is pervasive, it couldn't have been the killer cause.

So, what is the killer? Well, I hypothesize that it's a lack of full involvement on the part of the whole chapter. That may be caused by a lack of understanding of what the full and true purpose of Triangle is, which in turn may be the result of:

• A lack of learning opportunities: It makes no difference whether such opportunities come from formal or informal (or both) means, only that opportunities are available.
• Poor recruitment practices:
  • When a chapter brings in people who don't have relatively similar interests, values, and behaviors, the chapter is doing the man and the chapter a real disservice. I don't mean that Triangle chapters need to become "cookie cutter" organizations -- the kind where it's hard to tell if there has been an illegal human cloning project going on. I do mean that a chapter needs to be very up-front with recruits, letting them know what is expected of them, as well as what they can get.
  • As the adage says, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Every chapter needs to be careful to recruit those who show a disposition toward taking that "drink" -- in other words, to making a decision to believe in and capitalize on the real value Triangle offers him.
• A lack of follow-through: A good chapter -- one that REALLY recognizes, understands, and puts the values of Triangle into practice -- knows that there can be no such thing as a free rider. Everyone must be required to carry his own in the chapter. No, I'm not saying that there can't be times when the chapter can't carry someone financially, nor am I saying that there won't be acceptable times when a man might not reasonably take out more than he puts in counterbalancing effort. I am saying that, on balance, everyone must make the choice to and then carry through on being a balanced player. I am also saying that a chapter and its individual members need to have the cajones to call someone on a failure to be balanced and, if the behavior doesn't change, to cut out the deadweight. Not only is a chain only as strong as its weakest link, rust in that link can quickly lead to rust in many other links, too.

Triangle is about learning to have and reinforcing the general skills, abilities, and values needed in life. If we find that "no one is coming to our party," isn't it likely that we're just not providing the right kind of party to make them want to come and then to stay? Our Founders had the party mix right. That's obvious, since we're nearly 100 years old. Do you still provide the right party?

Ten Traits To Be Tops

Summary of an article by Laurel Delaney for www.marketingprofs.com

What does it take to be successful today? How does one know what to do to be a leader -- not just a leader of people, but out organizations and outcomes -- not just in your purely professional life, but also in your non-work time, too? You supply the gumption to make yourself have these 10 traits and they'll take you far in life.

1. Smarts. Commonsense business judgment and a fair degree of emotional intelligence will help you navigate most situations. Be good at learning: processing lots of information, analyzing data and forever refining your vision is a must when you're in unfamiliar territory.

2. Motivation. Be a self-starter. Don't expect round-the-clock supervision and guidance. Don't rely on anyone except yourself to get you going -- you must get you going.

3. Initiative. The more ambitious and innovative you are, the greater the need to take an inspired action and make something happen. Pick up the phone, send an e-mail, jump in your car, ask a question, make a contact, make an offer. Put a process in motion and reap the rewards.

4. Endless energy. Endless energy gets you places. Run around the block where you live and see how tired you get. When you're a leader, you'll be hit with the equivalent of that run around the block at least a hundred times day, and you'll have to deal with it, tired or not. And when you do close your eyes to sleep, ask your creative unconscious what you should do or where you should go next.

5. Perseverance. Keeping up the struggle when there's no tangible benefit in sight nor any sign of light at the end of the tunnel takes perseverance. Keep at it. Even if you don't like the final result, at least you've produced something -- and you can always take it from there and improve.

6. Imaginative scope. There are idle daydreamers. There are people with delusions of grandeur. And then there are leaders, who are capable of combining a vision of the seemingly impossible with a plan to make it happen.

7. Positive attitude. Focusing on the good in any situation doesn't mean you're naive. It means you do not want to waste your time on negative thinking. Taking the constructive approach -- seeing what your options and resources are, and making use of them -- will always get you somewhere.

8. Patience. Most pursuits take time to develop. Knowing when to remain calm and hang in there will increase your chances for global success.

9. The four C's: Courage. Confidence. Conviction. Communication.

   Courage -- You must face painful issues, you must conquer your fears, you must confront adversity head-on in order to grow. Moving forward at any pace when you're dealing with the unknown takes courage. Apply it in everything you do.

   Confidence -- Even if you don't know what you're doing, act as if you do, and soon you'll be convinced! Confidence comes from knowing that you are in control of yourself, no matter what happens to you.

   Conviction -- Stick to what you stand for. Demonstrate a willingness to live by your noblest values regardless of consequences (sound like Triangle's values?). Don't forget that every day when you wake up, you will have to face yourself and live with your decisions.

   Communication -- Know how to talk to anyone, anywhere in the world. Better yet, become an expert at listening. Communication skills and a keen insight into human nature helps you motivate others to join you in getting a job done.

10. Showmanship. If you know you have what it takes to become a leader, get out there and toot your horn. How else will the world know about you?

    Perhaps we could rewrite those 10 things in a more Triangle-specific way, but we're guessing that you have the horsesense in item 1 and can do the translation yourself.

Hope you enjoyed this issue!!! If you have questions, feel free to email the editor ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ).

Tim Eiler
Exponent Editor

A relentless pursuit of Excellence!